I have some things I need to say. If I don't, and I let them eat me alive, I am doing myself no service.
For anonymity I will keep the names out.
Person One: It's been a year. Have I forgiven? No, not at all. I don't think a friendship with you will ever be possible again. How can there be after what has happened? At least you wised up and stop coming to my job. I will warn you: I almost took out a restraining order and filed a complaint against my employer for allowing you to come in. I was almost about ready to call the police because nothing was being done. I don't know where to go now because of what happened. My world is not the same world as it was. I can never have the dreams I was accomplishing for myself. Because of you and your lies. I pray you are never able to live with yourself for that.
One more thing person one: nobody told me anything what you did, I guessed. And I was right. And you fell into my trap when you confessed on your own what you did. Don't blame the person you told. They didn't tell me a thing, you did, every single thing you did by your demeanor and your actions and your tone. I find out the truth eventually and boy was this one quick.
Person Two: I don't know what to say really to you. I am feeling so many things: sadness, anger, confusion, bitterness, you name it, it's probably there. I don't know what to do with you and the things you said. I can never trust you for what you've done. You act innocent but really, are you? I know you lied to others about the scarf, and the cup, you probably lied about the other things too. Why did I not press harder and tell the truth? No one believed me, or it was irrelevant. News for you: it is relevant to me. If you lie about something that happened, you are most likely lying about other things too. I think I know why. You have what you really wanted and I hope someone jerks it from you. Lying to your friends and then playing the victim when you don't get your way will come back to you.
Person Three: There is anger towards you completely. Forgiveness is possible but I am angry because of what you accused me of and I was not entitled to get the help I really needed, not the help you think I needed. Persons One and Two cost me a good reputation and integrity, I have a right to get advocation and proof when accused. Not called mentally ill when I feel I have been wronged. Innocence until proven guilty folks. Remember that.
Person Four: You hurt me in the worst way possible. I came to you when I needed you most. And instead you shut me out because that person was your sister. Your sister was abusive towards me and hurt me. And the only excuse that was told was that she was going through a hard time and so was I. Yes, I was, but did I hurt anybody while I was grieving? I don't think so. It's not a healthy way to go. Let me tell you something: my treatment had nothing to do with your sister's actions.
While we are on this subject, I want to make something perfectly clear: depression. Yes, I know what a person must do to take care of themselves but all four of the people described here are guilty of one thing as well: using my medical/psychological diagnosis and treatment as the reason why I don't deserve the same treatment as others would have gotten. Because I got depression, I got to work extra hard to make sure Person One is not the victim and is blameless in the situation. Because of my depression, it is the reason why I am not allowed to seek legal help for my protection against Person Two. Because of my depression, Person Three feels entitled to tell me what help I need and what I don't, when Persons One and Two are hurting my life professionally. And because of my depression, my feelings don't get considered when making decisions by Persons Three and Four.
I am a person too. I think like you do and I hold a job and a place to live like you. Why am I not entitled to defend myself or be angry or sad or anything because I have a mental illness? Funny thing is, none of you are jocks or popular kids from high school that the principal use to defend. There was a reason for that: they were teenagers as I was, I had to toughen up because they had something to give to the school and I didn't. That hurt me a lot. You've hurt me too, and that is even worse than in high school. How can I ever know if the things I decide are the right choices or the wrong choices? How can I feel safe the next time someone asks me how I am doing? I can't, I don't. As Dr. Phil says, "You can't unring this bell." It's done, and I am damaged.
For anonymity I will keep the names out.
Person One: It's been a year. Have I forgiven? No, not at all. I don't think a friendship with you will ever be possible again. How can there be after what has happened? At least you wised up and stop coming to my job. I will warn you: I almost took out a restraining order and filed a complaint against my employer for allowing you to come in. I was almost about ready to call the police because nothing was being done. I don't know where to go now because of what happened. My world is not the same world as it was. I can never have the dreams I was accomplishing for myself. Because of you and your lies. I pray you are never able to live with yourself for that.
One more thing person one: nobody told me anything what you did, I guessed. And I was right. And you fell into my trap when you confessed on your own what you did. Don't blame the person you told. They didn't tell me a thing, you did, every single thing you did by your demeanor and your actions and your tone. I find out the truth eventually and boy was this one quick.
Person Two: I don't know what to say really to you. I am feeling so many things: sadness, anger, confusion, bitterness, you name it, it's probably there. I don't know what to do with you and the things you said. I can never trust you for what you've done. You act innocent but really, are you? I know you lied to others about the scarf, and the cup, you probably lied about the other things too. Why did I not press harder and tell the truth? No one believed me, or it was irrelevant. News for you: it is relevant to me. If you lie about something that happened, you are most likely lying about other things too. I think I know why. You have what you really wanted and I hope someone jerks it from you. Lying to your friends and then playing the victim when you don't get your way will come back to you.
Person Three: There is anger towards you completely. Forgiveness is possible but I am angry because of what you accused me of and I was not entitled to get the help I really needed, not the help you think I needed. Persons One and Two cost me a good reputation and integrity, I have a right to get advocation and proof when accused. Not called mentally ill when I feel I have been wronged. Innocence until proven guilty folks. Remember that.
Person Four: You hurt me in the worst way possible. I came to you when I needed you most. And instead you shut me out because that person was your sister. Your sister was abusive towards me and hurt me. And the only excuse that was told was that she was going through a hard time and so was I. Yes, I was, but did I hurt anybody while I was grieving? I don't think so. It's not a healthy way to go. Let me tell you something: my treatment had nothing to do with your sister's actions.
While we are on this subject, I want to make something perfectly clear: depression. Yes, I know what a person must do to take care of themselves but all four of the people described here are guilty of one thing as well: using my medical/psychological diagnosis and treatment as the reason why I don't deserve the same treatment as others would have gotten. Because I got depression, I got to work extra hard to make sure Person One is not the victim and is blameless in the situation. Because of my depression, it is the reason why I am not allowed to seek legal help for my protection against Person Two. Because of my depression, Person Three feels entitled to tell me what help I need and what I don't, when Persons One and Two are hurting my life professionally. And because of my depression, my feelings don't get considered when making decisions by Persons Three and Four.
I am a person too. I think like you do and I hold a job and a place to live like you. Why am I not entitled to defend myself or be angry or sad or anything because I have a mental illness? Funny thing is, none of you are jocks or popular kids from high school that the principal use to defend. There was a reason for that: they were teenagers as I was, I had to toughen up because they had something to give to the school and I didn't. That hurt me a lot. You've hurt me too, and that is even worse than in high school. How can I ever know if the things I decide are the right choices or the wrong choices? How can I feel safe the next time someone asks me how I am doing? I can't, I don't. As Dr. Phil says, "You can't unring this bell." It's done, and I am damaged.
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