Sammy's Musings and Insights

I have to finally admit it--for a modern, independent girl like myself, I have an old-fashioned soul. I have old-fashioned ideals, not old-fashioned beliefs, mind you. I believe in pro-choice, I believe in woman's liberation, I am for gay marriage, I am a strong Democrat and I was once an atheist. In short, I am a modern day Maude Findlay. However, I do wish for the old-fashioned things as well, just not like all my friends ideals. I do want someone to love and love me back, but as the person I am. I look to have children one day, but I want there to be a father as well as a mother, and in a time and place where we can raise them in a stable environment. I also like an old-fashioned courtship, the type that is only in Cary Grant films, with maybe a bit of a Fred Astaire charm as well. Sort of like a Tom Hanks flirtation/dream as in "The Man with One Red Shoe". And the type of person I would like to share my life with, well, he would have to be intelligent, and arti...

I am going to start by telling you about a very strange dream I had the night before. I was at the bank making the usual Friday afternoon deposit for the library, same tellers, same bankers, same building. However, there were very many differences: 1)I was in there for three hours waiting to make the deposit. 2) some of the tellers were now actual loan officers, (mostly the men, but that is for a different entry later) 3) I felt a strange sadness waiting to give them our collection for the last week. And then when I finally got to the teller, while I was making the deposit and chatting with her, my personal banker came to the window to make an announcement to me: started off with some nonsense about how the bank will continue to provide quality service to me and to the library while advertising some sort of bonus or whatever, but then his speech changed and then I realized it was to congratulate me on a new job or promotion I received. While he was talking, I found myself getting e...

That's right--a chick lit novel, Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin. Chick lit is a new kind of genre for me, something I fairly like on occasion, but I never like to admit personally. I'm more into more serious, thoughtful book myself, but it never hurts to once in a while read a more fun-loving, original story about your life as well. Anyway, the heroine in the book, Rachel White, a 30 year old attorney in Manhattan, has just slept with her best friend's fiance, Dex, and has no regret over it. I wasn't sure I was going to have much sympathy for Rachel, basically for the misdeed itself, but after reading her point of view, and learned more about her "best friend" Darcy, who is a shallow, brainless twit, yet pretty and charming at the same time, the kind of girl we all hate, you can't help but feel more compassion for Rachel than Darcy, esp. since Rachel tries to do the right thing by first getting Dex out of her mind and be supportive to Darcy and her...

This I found in the Bible just now 1 Corinthians 7:25-40 . Not to hurt anyone who is married and happy, for those, God Bless You, but for us who are without spouses, unmarried, widowed, unattached in any way, this is a message of inspiration and hope and gives me strength and courage for the future. To the Unmarried and Widows 25 Now concerning virgins: I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy. 26 I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—that it is good for a man to remain as he is: 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you. 29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none, 30 ...

I found this link today when looking up something on Dictionary.com. It encouraged me to try to do the impossible, perhaps it will for you as well. http://www.adultdatingadultdating.com/stories/02/getting-over-the-fear-of-asking-someone-out/ I know, another dating blog, but this actually finally makes perfect sense to my problem. I mean, I am not sure if I am looking to date this particular person, but at least it's a start, a place to begin. I mean, call me crazy, but the old fashioned flirting and wonderment of the first discovering an attractive man is a magical thing. Old fashioned romance is also a magical thing and one that is worth all the wait.

When you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's meant to be. Or how about this one: to love is to let go. Or how about this little truth: absence makes the heart grow fonder. Is there some truth to these old sayings or they just that: sayings?

Like everything else, knitting is a slow and painful process to learn. The last couple of months I have been trying to master one simple stitch, the knit stitch, according to basic principles a very easy stitch. Well, this easy stitch I finally mastered after four months; after countless times of casting on stitches, pulling out yarn and beginning again after flubbing stitches, and endless times of throwing the needles on the floor, across the room, etc. I finally got it. Hopefully if I keep at this, if the instructions prove right, all these stitches will produce the long awaited scarf. I just feel sorry for the poor soul who will be the receiver of this scarf, because it will have mistakes in it, but everything in creation must have a few flaws in it right?

First and foremost, I apologize for not posting anything sooner. I know two months, where has she been right? Well, that's an interesting story, not one that can be all summoned up on a post, but let's break it down here and I will describe my last two months. (By the way, this may end up as the subject of my second book, if I ever finish my first book. I am also changing any and all names, to spare any embarrassment to whoever may be reading this.) Let's see where shall I begin in this little story? Let's see, how many of you have seen Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, the film, not the book? Remember Lena's adventures in Greece, she visits her grandparents, meets Greek boy, falls in love, and lives happily ever after? Remember the stumbles she took along the way, where she was hesitant in falling for Kostas and her family's dissaproval? Well, something similar happened to me though not in that context completely. It all begins one beautiful late August...

Why is it that when a recession or disaster or threat comes it turns people against each other? This I have never understood. One day you are friends and the next day, you are not. In times of great struggle, you need to stand together and be strong and hope for the best, not stab each other in the back and tell lies and gossip. 1) It's not polite, and 2) it will resolve anything that you are dealing with. Whether you are losing your job or upset with your friends or feel stressed over your life and finances, there is no need for it. I know one prejudice still exists in the working world and that is young people driving out older people in the workforce. I may be young, but I have seen it many times in many jobs over my career of 10 years in secretarial work. I know the stereotype for the young is negative, that we are too naive and too reckless, at the same time, too ambitious and too unscrupulous as well. I know this because over the last year I have heard this described...

For those that do read this blog please take heed some advice: --never gossip about someone: it's rude. --don't assume that person doesn't know: he or she does. --be a bit considerate with other people's time: if you say you want to get together for homework on a certain day, or you have to be at your job at a certain time, follow through: it's disrespectful to do so otherwise, or the other person and of their time. --rules were set for a reason: follow them to the letter don't pick and choose. --don't assume you know a person and know what is best for them. So before you tell your friend to consider another job or another guy, whatever, let that person do their soul-searching before you put your nose in it. --When someone asks for help, help them!!! --While I like honesty, there is some room for compassion. Don't jump down someone's throat or assume they are a bad person. --If you something is up, say it, don't sugarcoat it. One other piece o...

I know amongst many of my friends there is question of my religious beliefs, do I still believe in God, why attend a different faith, will there ever be a time I will return, etc. For those who still ponder this question: hang on a moment and I will tell you. For those who do not know me, let me fill you in on some info: As you know, I was born to parents of different denominations of the Christian faith, yet however they are very similar as well. My mom is devout Lutheran who took my sister and I to Lutheran church for two years only when she was struggling with personal issues of her own. She thought at the time she was an alcoholic. I don't know whether she was or not, but she was struggling with depressed, negative emotions as well. I was 10 years old. My dad is a self-proclaimed Catholic, who has not set foot in a church since his confirmation. I found this out when the LDS visited our door the first time when I was 19 (at the time, it was the elders who visited). Durin...

Right now, I miss Prince Charming right now. I loved him with all my heart. Clue to those who are reading this right now (and know me pretty well): It isn't Mark.

This is a complicated question: How do you know if you found the right man for yourself? (Or the right woman, if that is your preference?) What makes a person the right person for you? Now before we go into the characteristics every woman or man should look for, or your compatible interests, let me ask you this: what is it about your mate that compels you to stay with him, even if you are not married, what is it about your partner that makes him/her eager to stay with him? I am predicting most of you are saying to yourselves because you love each other, and you are happy with each other, correct? Well, that can help, too, but love is not enough to keep a relationship or a marriage going. The same with happiness, children, work, compatible interests, goals, etc. For this, I will give you an example: Last year, I was dating a very eligible bachelor, the perfect guy I always wanted: handsome, educated, determined, had a very impressive job, and an immaculate taste in clothes. He al...

My friends and I, even after two months of finishing this book, are still discussing this great novel: Atonement, by Ian McEwan. I mean, usually when we have read a book, we only discuss it for one day, two to three days tops, but for Atonement--almost two months. I won't give away the plot for those who have not read the novel--however, part of our debate has been on the plot and some of the subplots and of the character Briony, herself. Was Briony mistaken or was she lying when she saw Robbie and Cecelia together in the library? Was she driven by jealousy or naivety of what she saw? When did she start to feel guilty after making false witness to the police? If she had not noticed them by the fountain the first time, what would she have thought when she saw the pair in the library, and would her statement to the police be different? Then we go on to the other characters: Paul Marshall, Lola Quincey, the twins, Emily Tallis, all the other characters sans the lovers. In fact, ...

Is it just me or are doctor's offices required when someone is hired for the job to be as inefficient or as idiotic as possible? Why do I hate going to the doctor or the dentist? The answer is always the same: inefficient, idiotic and sometimes unfriendly office staff. I call to make an appointment for Monday morning early, afternoons not possible, I get scheduled for Tuesday afternoon for the next day, right in middle of my work day. I ask for a referral for a second opinion for a dental procedure, they have a professional firm examine their own xrays, when they promised originally that another dentist would do their own investigation. I go in after confiming a psychiatric appt, the day before, the day I go in, they can't find my appt. and ask me to make another one for another few weeks. I call many times to get test results from the doctor that performed the procedure, they refer me back to my original doctor who doesn't even know from day one what has been going ...

This week, I finally hit a new ground on the family tree, thanks to Ancestry.com. Not only did I discover other family trees to link with my own, but also records of births, marriages, divorces, deaths, etc. to my relatives and get the correct dates, especially for my Uncle Eddie's side of the family, (sorry Aunt Mary, the dates were right, the years were off by one year.) Plus, I got a breakthrough and I found my Dad's Aunt Tilly and Grandma Martinez's family. And find tree to all the inlaws, which leads to a big family, about everybody had 7-14 kids in each family. 512 relatives. I sent a link to my mom to edit and verify my work, so far according to Aunt Sandi, I am on the right track. Yay!!!

This morning I was successful on finding my relatives and such. Without having much success until now, I was finally able to get information and find missing links to some relatives, and reconnect with others. With the help of Ancestry.com, MyFamilySearch.org, and my family through my recently deceased uncle, finally made a breakthrough. Where it will go next, we shall see. Let's hope my mother will keep her cool next time.

Since the title is about God, Writing, Literature and Life, that is where we will start today. I woke up late this morning, missed service at my current church. And being that I hate missing services, I decided to find another church having service around noon or later. The only other service later today was @ 12:30 at the Immaculate Heart of Mary. I was not too happy about going to IHM today, not because it was Catholic Mass, no, no, no, I love Catholic Mass. In fact, if I could, I would attend Mass every week, but with my schedule not always possible. What I don't like about IHM is that although the priests are very friendly and funny, the congregation not always as welcoming, plus it is always crowded and people get there late and it seems more distant and cold than other masses I have attended. Anyway, today's mass really touched my soul today. The new vicar there gave a very moving homily titled "Crazy for Christ", which was a passionate discussion on how we...

Who am I? Name: Sammie Age: 29 next week Marital Status: Not married, but it's complicated. Occupation: Library Clerk/Student and sometimes Writer Location: East Bay, California Passions: Reading, Writing, Music, Movies, Art, Genealogy, Photography, Sports, and Court TV. Religion: Christianity, from two different faiths (Lutheran and Catholic), with a hint of Mormonism as well. Ethnicity: Spanish-Castilian and Norwegian-German (not a mutt and definitely not Mexican, believe it or not, there is a difference.) Can't think of anything else to add, more will come, promise. Ciao for now. Sammie