Feminism at the Heart of the Matter

This week, Emma Watson gave a powerful message about women and equality.  It brought me back to one of my first writing assignments about women and feminism.  Below is the writing assignment I did regarding radical heterosexuality.  Enjoy!!!

Naomi Wolf's article, "Radical Heterosexuality", brings up a grey area of how a woman can be feminist woman and yet still be a wife to her husband. She brings up a question in the beginning of the article: "By day, they fight gender injustice, by night they sleep with men. Is this a dual life? A core contradiction? Is sleeping with a man 'sleeping with the enemy'?" (1) In other words, how can a woman be wanting gender freedom and equal rights if she is also affectionate with a man? How can she have the same power and freedom as a man when she is also seeking affection and attention from them and giving them the same? Is it possible to have it both ways.

Wolf brings up a point that being a radical feminist does not mean that the female gender turn against men completely. What Wolf brings up is that radical heterosexuality is "the woman being able to support herself". (2) This is not only just financially but mentally and emotionally as well. Being a radical feminist means being able to be independent, without the help of a man. This means being able to pay her own bills, do her own taxes, being able to fix things around the house, work on their own car, being capable of doing the same things men do and women and have been dependent on for years.

For example, I am a heterosexual woman and I believe in radical equality of the sexes. When I was growing up, my father did all the handiwork in the house and my mom depended on him to be around to help. However, my father, knowing would not always be there when mom or I would need him, would also ask us to help him with these tasks and sometimes he would make us take the lead so we would learn how these tasks were done. What I learned from that is that two key points : 1) even though a man is handy around the house, a woman is capable of doing the same tasks even in his absence and 2) being independent does not mean you are turning your back towards men or closing yourself for relationships.

What my father was teaching me that there would be times a man will not be around the house and what will I do when that time comes? Will I be able to take care of myself? Will I be able to handle myself even though I am alone? Also, if needed, can I know my limitations and know when to ask for help if needed? I learned from all those lessons how to think for myself and be independent when and if needed. That did not mean that I should turn my back on the kindness of strangers, more specifically men, completely.

If you think about it, what has been the gender norm of a woman? What do women repeat when they say their vows at the alter? They are vowing that they will "love, honor and obey" their husband. They are expected to love, worship and obey men at all times, no questions asked. Even when women were thinking differently they had to squash down any hidden beliefs they had so they could make their husbands the dominant sex. So when Wolf suggests being able to "hate sexism and love men" (3) at the same time, it does sound contradictory. However, what she is suggesting is broken down in very simple terms.

A woman can still love men and adore them and be adored at the same time. However, a woman can also expect to be treated as a individual and not just as a daughter or a wife or a mother. The definition of sexism according to Merriam-Webster Dictionary is "the prejudice and discrimination based on sex; especially: the discrimination of women." (4) It is also the "behavior, conditons, or attitudes that foster stereotypes of social roles based on sex." (5) Women do not want to be treated as the Stepford Wife: being expected to cook and clean and care for the children only while still pleasuring their husbands. Even though this is the stereotypical role that women were expected to fulfill, women are seeing their is more to them that being the wife and mother or daughter-- and in this age girlfriend.

Women are realizing their worth to society and the workplace and only wish to also be a part of it. They want to seek out their potential and become the active and contributive members of society they seek to be. They want to the same opportunity to education as men do and enroll in numbers in many colleges and universities around the country. Women want the chance to exercise and expand their minds to new ideas and possibilities as men already have. Women do not want to be told that because they are women they do not have the same stamina and brain power as a man does. Just because they are women they cannot strive to be in the same equal footing as men. Just because women are capable of doing the physical work a man does, women have no business doing "man's work". These are the kinds of attitudes that make feminists think the words "sexist" and "chavanistic". This type of discrimintation and prejudice is what Wolf says is what women are really fighting, not men themselves.

So when going back to the question of are women living a dual life or a complete contradiction of sleeping and loving men while fighting for feminism and equality, on the surface it looks that way. But if you to really did deep, women did not ask for the right to hate men and dislodge themselves completely from them. Women only ask that they be seen as not the submissive sex or the homemaker or the wife. They ask to be seen as a person with the same rights and values and have as much ability and brain power as a man. That is what women are truly fighting against: being labelled as a sex and using that label to define who they are and what they should be, not who they could be. Women can still fight for those radical equality and still go home to be worshipped by her husband or boyfriend in bed, because of love, not sexual or gender norm. That is what radical feminism is about: being seen as a woman internally, not externally.


Resources:

1. Wolf, N. (1992, 07). "Radical heterosexuality...or how to love a man and save your feminist soul."


2. Ibid. pg. 29.

3. Ibid. pg. 29.

4. sexism. 2011. In Merriam-Webster.com.

Retrieved May 8, 2011 from http: www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sexism

5. Ibid.


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